Happy New Year!!!

 

Happy New Year from the broke and unemployed!

    I hope whoever is reading this has had a happy and blessed New Year so far.  

    Yes, I am starting 2023 with no job, no car, probably no house...that is still a pending situation.  Right now, as we speak; I am looking into realtors and will most likely be selling the house my parents entrusted to me.  I am sad about this decision, but I am relieved too.  I have been carrying so much responsibility that I am not happy.  Yet, I feel like the last two years have been a growing period.

    So, lets go back a to my last post and work from there.  After Christmas, things were okay.  I was diagnosed with Endometriosis.  I had been having some strange things that were happening to my body, but I thought it was either a cancer issue or long-term COVID issues. Thank God it was not cancer. I was having bad PMS, hair loss, lack in energy, stressed, and feeling like crap.  Cramps have been terrible for months and even weeks after my PMS.  Doctor stated that it was Endometriosis, but I needed to get into a 'ladies' doctor" ASAP.  No problem.  I started going to work looking for one.  I also started B/C to help with everything else.  Let's say my hair is now growing back and feels like my hair has thicken up quite a bit.  I still have cramps, but they are now manageable.  I started that search for a Gyno; I kept asking my job to please let me know if there will be a lay off. 

     Keep in mind; I asked the second week of December.  No response.  Come two days after Christmas; I asked again....and again no response. There was no transparency, no emails, no communication through my old employer's message system we use for work at home people.  Nothing.  Come Friday, right before New Year's.  I get a notification for a schedule that was just published.  I go and look and see that I am not on the upcoming schedule.  I am pissed at this point.  I am beyond pissed and I even remember back in March of 2022; I asked the HR lady (we will call her A) if there are chances that I would be laid off.  She stated, "Lisa since you work in the Call Center; you will not".  If I knew then I would never have left my old employer.  So here I am writing you from my desktop and no longer have a job. Also, keep in mind that it was not just me; it was a whole lot of people who were shocked to be laid off.  I am so sour towards this company know and having sour feelings towards the person whose name is on the building (you can guess the country singer, and no I am not saying who it is.  You can guess for yourself). 

    So, after that shock, I started to ask what will happen to my insurance. The insurance is the reason why I left my old employer.  Since I kept relapsing COVID at the time; I wanted insurance because the trips to the hospital were putting me in debt.   This company that I use to work states that if I am laid off two pay cycles after my last check; I will have to pay them (my old job) to keep my insurance up and going.  First off, WTH, this company has laid me off.....without any meetings, emails, etc., and you want me to pay you (the company) money.... that I do not have....to keep my insurance going?  Really!  I have never really heard of this.  Get this.... if you are off only two pay cycles you will be able to do this.  If you are laid off longer than this; you will get the COBRA program. Most of you know that no one can afford the COBRA medical program; especially if you are laid off and getting only $200 a week from unemployment (at least here in TN).  Crazy thing is that I asked my manager (we will call her S) how long or if she needed me to let me know.  S states it would be based on call value on during the first week of layoffs that they will decide if and when they will start bringing people back. Again, you do not know if you will be off longer than two pay cycles.  S proceeded to delete people out of the systems/programs that are used for daily tasks putting an end to everyone's time at the company.  Shutting down all of the programs and deleting the laid off people, in my opinion, puts a seal on that the old company does not want us to return.  But that is my opinion.  

    I am now looking for a new job/career.  I am going to focus on that and continue to write my book as well.  Unfortunately, I did not make the 30-day challenge but that is life.  I tried. I had other obstacles come my way as well.  Such as that my car blew a turbo.  I have a warranty for it but I still have to pay some funds to the repair shop. Scott got a vehicle and no surprise to our luck; it is broken down and after only three days of driving it.  So, our luck sucks right now but I am still trying to stay positive that 2023 will be a better year for us.  Hopefully!!!

    Will write more in the coming days.  Take care.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Update:  So, I started writing this on Christmas Day, but got so preoccupied with different things going on that I just did not finish it.  Christmas was good and relaxing. Did not do much of anything except drink some wine and chilled out for the day.  We (my boyfriend, myself, and the dogs) opened gifts and enjoyed some time together.  Hope you all had a great Christmas - 12/27/2022

12/25/2022 - I hope everyone has a merry and blessed Christmas.  For the first time in a long time; I have the day off.  Well, I usually have Sundays off, but I have been working the last few months.  I am enjoying my time off with my boyfriend and my pups.  I am cooking in my crock pot a turkey which I hope turns out good.  I did manage to burn our lunch but between trying to cook some food and taking the dogs out for a walk.  No stress and no worries.   Remaking our lunch is now in progress. 

As for the book.  It is coming along.... slow but steady.  I don't think I will make my 30 days, but I am going to finish no matter what.

Here are some pictures of the day so far.

God Bless and have a wonderful Christmas.

Challenge Day 14 - Distractions....

        I started this post at 9 am and it is now 2:03 pm.  I got wrapped up doing other things. Frist thing I started doing was handwriting my book into my journal. Just dumping the story out of my head and onto paper.  I figure I will go into descriptive writing later in time.  I do wish I had yellow legal paper like George Lucas had when writing Star Wars.  Mind you, my book is definitely not Star Wars.  

         Then, my ADD self, started looking at my mom's cookbook collection and I have decided to go through these books and sell them.  Maybe at a cheap cost or do a 2 for 1 price.  Who knows if I will make some funds but at least I can try.  I can put the funds towards bills or just a small savings.  

            After I did that I started talking to my sister-in-law.  I was showing her doll clothes that I bought for my neice.  Yes, my niece asked for a doll for Christmas.  I know I am talking about saving money and then talking about Christmas.  But I wanted to stop and just let you know; I am writing and just got a bit distracted.  I am now going to head back to writing in my journal.  

I hope you all have a wonderful day. 

So Am I being Selfish?

Good Morning Everyone reading this.......

    Today is Tuesday and I am making some progress on the book. I am getting the ideas out, but I think I need to get more descriptive in my writing.  But I am proud of myself for getting going on this challenge.  I hope when I start typing everything out soon, and that I will be going into a descriptive detail of the story.  But this is a good challenge for me, and I am determined to complete it.  Now I did say 30-day challenge (and I am still sticking with that goal) but I am also sticking with the determination that I need to complete this book no matter how long it takes me.  I do want to try and get it published before the end of next year.  That is if it is worthy of publishing.

    As for the title of this blog "Am I being selfish"?  So, on Sunday, December 25, Christmas Day, is my day off.  I had a co-worker ask me to switch shifts.  I responded to her by saying "no".  Reason is that I worked every holiday this year and I worked when I had Covid-19 (when I was able to work).   When my day off landed on the 25; I decided that I will not work whatsoever.  Yet, I do feel bad saying no and I am sure someone would think it is for selfish reasons but with everything with my family, and the stress of personal issues.  I just need a break.  I wish I could break for longer than two days, but I cannot. Yet, I just want to do a Christmas movie marathon or a Star Wars marathon and chill.  I may not even cook.... who knows.  When you do not plan a day and just relax.... who knows what can happen.  I may watch the 24-hour marathon of A Christmas Story.  But the end goal on Christmas Day is to really do nothing but relax and enjoy the day off.  The stress can start back up on the 26th.  LOL.  If I do anything I am hoping to continue whatever I have typed out of this story.... if that makes sense.  I am hoping to get started typing on Thursday of this week. Old school me likes to write than type.  I trust in God and in the process.  

    I do not feel selfish in telling them I can't do something but on the other hand....I do feel bad.  I am the type of person that wants to help and make people happy.  So, yes, in telling someone no to something it makes me feel sad. I am working on this because in life you cannot please everyone. 

Hope you all are well.  I am just doing a "writing dump" in this post.  

Sunday......Isaiah 7:14

Good Sunday Morning,

    Today is a great day but foggy here in TN.  God is good for sure.  Yesterday, I was able to get a few pages written for the book.  Yes, it is not an outline it is actually pages.  I did a writing dump and stayed focused, and I did not to struggle.  I felt whole when writing like it is my destiny.  I know God and Jesus is helping me; I can feel them both all-round me.  Cheering me on. I am so inspired by my faith that I hope this book does get published and helps someone discover that in tragedy; hope is still alive.  

    Speaking of hope.... the Bible verse for this Sunday (that I found) is "The Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel."(Isaiah 7:14), for me this verse speaks values of hope in the birth of Jesus.  I wanted to post this verse because it is the Christmas season and hope. The book I am writing is about hope and faith. Just the timing of everything seems so perfect.  Which makes me believe that God's timing is always perfect.

     This time of year, is really inspiring due to the fact that a person can carve out new beginnings, along with new possibilities.  I am focused on new beginnings and believe anything is possible.  I hope that 2023 will be a better year for everyone.  So, as I reflect on this verse and leave this post (a short post) for you all to read.  Just think and focus on the possibilities that may come your way.  Never doubt yourself and have faith in yourself.  Have faith in God and the wonderful direction that he is giving you in life.  I just feel so inspired right now, and I feel that new beginnings will be a positive for those who seek them out.  

Have a wonderful day everyone. 

Thankful Thursday.....

 Good morning to Everyone reading this.  

    Today is Thursday y'all.  Almost time for the weekend. Unfortunately, I work during the weekends and won't have a day off till Monday.  Usually, Sundays and Mondays are my days off but with Christmas, bills, etc. coming up; working the extra half days on Sundays will benefit me in the long run.  I like my job, but I would like to get this book that I am creating up and going but God's timing is always perfect. So, if I spend a little more sorting out some details and some outlines.... this will benefit me in the process.  Sometimes you have to go through the process to achieve a goal and in this case, it is starting and completing this book.  

    Reason that I am pressuring myself to do this book is because I am tired of starting stories and get tapped out or get stuck.  I know it is not good to pressure ones 'self but I feel a calling of some sort to complete this.  I know I do get hung up on editing and grammar; so, doing this book will stop me on being so hung up on the little things.  I am trying to aim for a goal and achieve it. I am also including in this 30-day challenge to include outlines and writing down thoughts.

    So yesterday I had an appointment and since I was completing some test for my doctor; writing was the last thing on my mind.  Trust me......these tests were not fun.  I am not going into detail but as being a woman.... let's say it sucked. My focus was elsewhere yesterday, and I am forgiving myself for not blogging or writing. Sometimes it is good to forgive yourself when things come up or you can't complete something.  I may be hard on myself, but I will forgive myself at the same time.  I am a human being and cannot be perfect.  I consider myself imperfect and it makes me unique and an individual.

     Also, wanted to address my post from the other day.  I meant to put some more into my confusion with The Last of Us and the Mandalorian shows.  Yes, I confused the months that they will air.  Meant to put that down in words. Yet, I am doing my job and trying to write in the time where I am not getting phone calls.  So, I left out a good chunk of thought out.  Hopefully, next time more thoughtful sentences will be scribed in the future.  

Going to end this here......hope you all are well. 

Happy Tuesday

 Good Morning World......Happy Tuesday.

    Alas, yesterday I did not work on my book or did much of anything.  Yes, I am disappointed, and you should hold me accountable for my actions. I am now working (my job) and doing make up work for this book in between calls. I got the main characters outlined as of right now.  There is still one character that I am not sure if I should include or not.  I am leaning towards putting this character into the story but still not sure.

  I am working on the Opening and Mid-Opening outlines now.  I am basically writing ideas, and random words down.  May not make sense to some of you but it is for me.  I think these two outlines are what they call as free writing.... unloading my brain and freeing up some creative space.  Which in the end it is a good thing.  I am honestly very hopeful about this story and that it is what the book is based about......HOPE.  This story did come to me in a dream; so, I am in deep thought about different details and aspects of the dream and how it can be developed into a story.  I am focusing on descriptions, words, details, and story development.

    But as you know......procrastination is a writers fall back, or so I heard.  Yes, yesterday I did not do anything but sit, relax, and think.  Yet, you have to understand something; I think I needed the time off to just sit and think.  Think of ideas, think of perspective.... calm my mind.  Sometimes it is good for the soul to stay inactive and to let your mind rest and wander.  Things over the last week in my life were crazy; so, some time not doing too much is what was needed.  Does not excuse me from the 30-day challenge but now I am going to have to do some make up time over the next few days to help push me back on track.  God be with me.

    As for yesterday nothing amazing happen.  My boyfriend told me he did not like the fact that I had Pedro Pascal as my wallpaper.  I like my phone to have a theme and if my case ever gets to my house the theme.... process will be complete.  It is a Mandalorian theme.... because "I heart Star Wars" a lot.   Also, I am gearing up for the Mandalorian which I thought was going to air in January, but it is in March.  This leads my feelings of excitement to feeling great disappointment.  

    The other show.... The Last of Us comes out in January.  I am not sure if I am going to watch it.  I have a fear of zombies or anything of that nature.  Back a few years ago....my cousin, De, her now husband Justin, and I went to see I am Legend.  That movie did not go over to well with me.  De was very apologetic, but I had nightmares for a month straight.  I will continue the zombie topic for another time but let's say if The Last of Us deals with that.... I am never going to be able to get through the episode. 

Well, that is it for now.  Have a great day.